Rick: Hello camper! My name is Rick. How are you doing?
Cartman: Well I'm pissed off, Rick. How are you?
--from "Fat Camp", South Park episode 415.
Wednesday is Basic BJJ day, but we continued to work on passing the spider guard. Given the less than pleasant aspects of drilling this on Monday, how excited was I to get another chance at working this pass - probably the worst part of my jiu jitsu - on Wednesday?
Well, unfortunately what was fucked up about training on Monday was no less apparent on Wednesday. I'd like to say that I just don't get it, but the truth of the matter is that I do get it. The truth of the matter is that it actually helps fill out a picture, an unfortunate picture, that had been taking shape and color for some time.
I've long subscribed to the Camus line that, ultimately, the world is not to be changed it is to be endured. So I don't see some of this circumstance changing anytime soon, if at all. What I need to do is figure out some way to avoid it when possible and ignore it, I suppose, when it is not.
It's not like I've got some miserable life in some sub-Saharan hellhole. But all the same, jiu jitsu has been a refuge for the past four years. Not an entirely or always cozy refuge - as tonight proved - but a place to be and belong, all the same.
Right now the only thing I'm really looking forward to is the Saulo seminar - which apparently I was scammed (the story of my fucking September it seems) into overpaying. I feel like the end of September is turning into the exact opposite of the end of August - when I was having some real breakthroughs with ideal training partners like Angela, Ro, Scott ... Instead, of late, I'm thinking about that line from the poem by Yusef Komunyakaa: "there are teeth marks on everything he loves."
152.8 on the scale after training and back at it tomorrow for Cindy's Rock 'n' Roll Grappling Extravaganza.
