Thought I'd try the early class to get the week off to a quick start.
We worked on more Fundamentals today. Escape from rear bear hug (turns into a double leg takedown by squatting down and then turning into the guy and going for the leg), then two sweeps from the guard: the pendulum sweep (with the guy's knee up as if going to standing) and the tripod sweep. With the tripod sweep, we did the full move from on the ground in the guard all the way through to the finish.
We spent the entire class on those three elements. I think about half the class was white belts. Afterward, Rodrigo had us pair up on our own and do live training. I managed to get in a few minutes with Tom, a white belt I hadn't seen in a little while, before I had to go.
Last Friday, Bryan told me that he wasn't going to compete at the March revolution because he didn't feel ready. Funny thing was, I felt the same way.
Bryan was talking about a different sort of readiness. He's got a rib that's one good knee-on-belly away from putting him back on the shelf for a couple of weeks. And, combine that with his relative newness as a purple belt, and you can understand that reticence.
So why did I feel the same way - that I "wasn't ready"?
In part it probably has to do with the hangover from my worst competition year ever in 2009. As much as I'd like it to be otherwise, there's always a creeping sense of futility whenever I think about competing again. What if I just end up continuing to lose matches, going from 0-9 to 0-10 to 0-11 ... ? I'm not going to pretend that that wouldn't have some pretty damaging effects on my psyche - and my enthusiasm, if not fundamental willingness, to continue training.
But the other thing has to do with the new class structure. Because just about everything we've been doing for the past month has been based on the new fundamentals curriculum, I don't feel as if I've been able to spend much time doing the sort of work that will really prepare me for competing. I remember one night when we did some very good mixed up specific training. But that's been relatively infrequent as the new curriculum is increasingly woven into the program.
In the long run, it will be fine, I'm sure. And I do think that the curriculum changes will make for better classes and faster improvement for the average student - two big pluses. Still, I can't shake the sensation of being lost in the shuffle, neither in the world of competition superstardom, nor in the beginner world for which most of the recent class time has been designed.
163.4 on the scale. More to cheer about. I've got plenty of time. But it's getting a little tiresome on this side of 160.
